i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Its about making memories worth repressing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
