That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
