I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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