You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
