yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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