69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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