That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
