Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
