I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
