i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
