woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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