All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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