i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
