Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My dick has a subreddit
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
