Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
