I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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