I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
