Porn is love you can see.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
