This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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