I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
