just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
