We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
