Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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