I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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