Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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