just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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