Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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