im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
