You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
