Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
