My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
