Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
