he thought i was a dude.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
