community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
