well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
