Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
