YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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