Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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