Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
only if we run a train.
done.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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