she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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