I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last time i carry you out of a forest
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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