I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
