he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Are we still banned from the library?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
