Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
