JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
