is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
