apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
