i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
