Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
