I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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