Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
