i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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