Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
