I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
