it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sorry my hands just texted you
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
