These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
