I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
