There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
