He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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