There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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